Magdalena slipped out the front door, slapping her
sandals against the dusty lane. Dressed in a tight blue tee-shirt and jeans
just as snug, narrow-heeled bright pink sandals and toenails painted dark, she
headed straight for the water.
She was sixteen or thereabouts, but lacking a birth
certificate, her age could not be precisely determined. The Indian blood coursing
through her veins was evident in her high cheekbones, wide dark eyes, prominent
nose and brown skin brushed with copper. Of course, Magdalena also had Spanish
roots and something unexpected that appeared in her face’s most surprising
trait -- a most unforgettable pair of pale gray-green eyes.
The broken concrete path Magdalena hurried along after
stepping off the dirt lane had split apart in a massive earthquake two decades
before she was born. That walkway led to a set of rotting wooden steps. At the bottom, Magdalena slid her pink
sandals off and felt the loose dry sand sink under her toes.
Magdalena strode across the wide beach and stopped, at
the point where waves left small shells in quiet arcs. The breeze coming in
from the sea was warm. She gazed out toward the horizon but nothing broke the
flat monotony of that blue line.
Whispering to herself, Magdalena let out the first
hint of what was on her mind.
“It will come,” she said, the words carried on her
breath.
Magdalena wasn’t sure what the ship would look like.
If asked, she would have shrugged.
Unbeknownst to Magdalena, people in barrios throughout the capitol were
heading toward the beach to join her. At about the same time, without anyone
coordinating or leading or trying to convince them to act, they let out a
collective sigh. Like Magdalena, some hadn’t been born when the young
guerrillas with their long hair and beards marched into the capitol, promising the
sort of life few dared to dream of – enough food to eat, doctors to treat them
when they were sick, and the ability to read and write. But they had been
brought up hearing stories about the time when hope sprouted like the bright
red coffee beans that appeared each spring on the volcanic hillsides where
guerrillas trained and fought.
For most, the walk to the beach meant missing work
or failing to make breakfast for their children. Each in their separate ways,
experienced feelings they only had in church or while making love. Or sadly,
after downing one too many shots of the local rum.
Several minutes after reaching the beach, Magdalena
turned her gaze away from the horizon. She watched as Alejandro Sanchez inched
his way across the soft sand. The old man moved like a seesaw, the cane in his left
hand acting as a lever pushing him up, while a few seconds later his shoulders
and torso seesawed back down.
“Buenos dias,”
Sanchez said when he reached Magdalena’s side. He was out of breath.
“Are you here for . . . . “ Sanchez hesitated, not sure whether to go on.
“Yes,” Magdalena said, as if she knew exactly what
Sanchez intended.
“That is good,” he assured her. “Then we will wait
together.”
Up until today, the old guerrilla commander had
barely left the house, since the morning two years before when a stroke caused his
right cheek to drop, his pistol arm to hang useless at his side and his foot to
feel too heavy to lift and set down. Thirty years ago to the day, Sanchez, a
young man then, had marched into the capitol at the front of a column of
victorious rebels. It had been years now since the government or the people had
celebrated that day, when the brutal dictator was overthrown, and few could
recall the hope they had felt or the dreams they’d had for a better life.
Sanchez had no uniform to put on, except for a faded
black beret tacked to his bedroom wall and a pin bearing the letters FRL for Revolutionary Front for
Liberation. Using his good left hand, Sanchez pulled the tack out from the
beret’s soft center, letting it drop to the floor, as he grasped the hat’s
edges in his palm.
After setting the beret atop his head, a fringe of
white hair peaking out, Commander Sanchez slowly opened a wooden door in the
center of the purple bougainvillea-draped wall at the front of his house. Using
his cane, he stepped cautiously down the lane, the bottom tip of his cane picking
up dust as he walked.
A few minutes passed before Sanchez and Magdalena
were joined on the beach by Alicia Mendoza. As Alicia made her way to the
water’s edge, she recognized Sanchez, even though she hadn’t seen him for
nearly a decade. She looked out toward the horizon, assuring herself that she
hadn’t arrived too late. There wasn’t a single vessel or anything breaking the water’s
aquamarine monotony.
Alicia Mendoza had once been in love with Commander
Sanchez. Or in lust might have been a
better way to say how her cheeks flushed, whenever Alejandro Sanchez came near.
Alicia hadn’t known the dangers of what she was
about to take on – carrying notes from guerrillas to their urban supporters –
after meeting and falling in love with the guerrilla commander. Somehow, she
managed to not get caught. Friends weren’t so lucky. Picked up by the
dictator’s thugs, they’d been tortured, their bodies dumped at the outskirts of
the city as a warning to others.
“All for love,” Alicia whispered moments before she
left the house, as she recalled the risks she’d taken to meet Sanchez in the
mountains. Not long after the guerrillas seized power, Sanchez got involved
with someone else. In less than three months’ time, that woman became Sanchez’s
wife.
At nearly fifty, Alicia Mendoza was still a beauty.
One of the country’s most respected poets, she had also become known for her scandalous
love life. Some said Mendoza was the country’s first truly liberated woman, not
bothering to marry her lovers – some, in fact, were already married – and
having three children out of wedlock.
Maybe it was the anniversary that drew her out of
the house and toward the water. Whatever the reason, Alicia Mendoza slipped on
a white cap-sleeved cotton dress in the old peasant style with large red and
yellow embroidered flowers. She slid her feet into a pair of backless silver
sandals and stepped out the front door into the damp heat of another exhausted morning.
As soon as Alejandro, Alicia and Magdalena were in
their places, others from barrios throughout
the city began moving closer to the beach. No one could explain how this
sentiment traveled so quickly, except that hope which had fueled the country’s
revolution had lain dormant for years in that lush humid place. Some incorrectly
assumed hope had drowned in the afternoon downpours that turned the dusty roads
and lanes into rushing rivers of mud. Others feared that during the war which
followed the guerrillas’ triumph, when the dictator’s thugs fought to regain
power, every ounce of hope had been left to bleed on the ground, the dust
soaked red and mothers sobbing. There were even suggestions that what hope remained
had been swallowed up in alcohol and drugs, in prostitution, gangs and, of
course, in husbands beating children and wives.
But, miraculously, hope had survived. And in each
one of those tiny tin-roofed houses
that crowded the capitol, a man, woman or child was managing to find a shred of
it.
The morning appeared as ordinary as any other. By
ten o’clock, the sun pelted the dust, creating a nearly white reflection that
was blinding. You could see women walking, dressed in short, brightly colored
polyester sundresses and cheap rubber thongs. A few carried babies.
A handful of men walked as well. The older ones wore
wide-brimmed straw hats that hid their faces from the burning sun.
With so many children in that city, the young
practically swarmed toward the shore. It looked like the old days before the
brutal crackdown, when students massed in the central part of the city and
demonstrated, calling for the dictator to go.
Having been the first person to arrive, Magdalena
voiced the intentions of everyone, even while some people were still arriving.
“I think it’s going to be a big white ship,” she
said and turned toward Commander Sanchez and smiled. “Like one of those cruise
ships on the billboards alongside the boulevard.”
The old commander had imagined something more
unassuming.
“I was thinking,” he said, turning toward Magdalena
but gazing out toward the water, “it will be a very small fishing boat. People
always expect something big and flashy. But I have learned in my life that the
thing or person of real substance is quite modest.”
“You sound almost religious,” Alicia said to him
now.
“Faith is not restricted to religion,” he said,
flashing her a wry smile, though the right side of his lip drooped some. “Faith
is what fueled the revolution. Without faith, dreams are impossible.”
“Yes,” she said and lifted her fingers to her chest,
quickly making the sign of the cross. People who knew Alicia’s past would have
been surprised.
“I am thinking that it will be a yacht,” she said.
“The crew members will be young and very handsome.”
By now, the crowd gathered along the water’s edge
had grown to several hundred and people were still arriving. Magdalena
alternated between gazing out toward the horizon and keeping an eye on the
crowd. She did not want to lose her place up front. When the ship sailed in,
the girl wanted to be first to get on board.
For such a large crowd, the beach was surprisingly
silent. And that distinguished this gathering from the demonstrations that led
to the guerrilla war, which toppled the dictator. Those gatherings were noisy
affairs, with several organizers leading chants. Musicians played and sang
songs written for the struggle. Participants used large spoons to bang the
bottoms of aluminum pans.
This warm morning on the beach, though, each person
was lost in his or her own thoughts. Though the crowd had gathered in the same
place and at the very same time, the individuals came for their own selfish
reasons.
Magdalena noticed the ship when it was almost too far
away to be spotted. As she stared at the place along the edge of the horizon,
the outlines of the white vessel waved, like air often does when the
temperature is stifling. Tears formed in her eyes and that made it hard to see.
Would the ship turn and head toward the beach or keep going, until the outline
eventually disappeared?
About this time, the old commander saw what he’d
been waiting for -- a small trawler. The thin metal arms for holding nets
formed a dark skeletal outline, like raised triangles, against the bright
blue-white horizon. He recalled the feeling of happiness and pride, when he’d
led the column of guerrillas into the capitol. Though the people on the beach
were still silent, he could now hear shouts and applause from the crowds that
lined the route that day, along the city’s main boulevards.
So too did Alicia spot her yacht. The sleek white
vessel still sailed a ways out. Nonetheless, Alicia managed to glimpse those
handsome guys working on the deck, muscles visible, as the heat forced them to
strip their shirts off.
Alicia was surprised to feel a desire rise up, a sensation
she hadn’t experienced in a long time. She turned to her left, where Alejandro
Sanchez, an old man now, had his gaze planted toward the horizon. For some
reason difficult to explain, Alicia recalled the way Alejandro looked in the
days when she met him in the mountains. His thick hair, now white, was the
blackest shade of black, almost blue. She could feel its thickness on her
fingers now, without reaching out her hand.
One by one, the other people on the beach began to
notice the particular type of ship each of them had expected. Like those of
Magdalena, Alejandro and Alicia, the ships of the people in the crowd hovered
along the magical line that blurred the separation between sea and sky. Whether
the ship came into shore or not, each man and woman experienced a feeling as if
it had. A woman named Berta, who made a meager living cleaning rich people’s
houses, realized this feeling was better than the one she had each week when
she bought a ticket for the lottery. A very religious woman named Elena thought
it came close to praying in the cathedral, where she went alone to ask God’s
help.
The sun climbed higher as the crowd hung out on the
beach and waited. On a normal day, no one would have lingered, letting the sun
beat down on them, with the humidity so thick, the air felt damp enough to
shower. But hope is a surprising thing and it can make even the most cynical
person into a believer. A woman in the crowd named Marta Guttierrez was known
by her neighbors as a non-stop complainer. That
Marta, her closest neighbor Alma Martinez liked to say, will complain even after she’s dead. Yet
standing on that sizzling sand, the sweat running in two separate streams down
the sides of her chubby face, Marta didn’t have a bad word to say.
Normally at this time of day, Marta would have been
in the hot kitchen of her employer’s house cooking the afternoon meal. Having
arrived to work just after dawn, Marta would have been muttering to herself
about the pain in her feet and calves, her ankles swollen from the heat, and
wishing for a break when she could finally sit down. Out there on the beach
Marta saw that the view was endless, and something beautiful existed beyond the
small cramped box of a kitchen where she had wasted her life.
Though the people on the sand did not speak to those
on their left and right, there appeared to be an understanding that they had
all come for the same reason. Even after several hours, people stayed, though
they had no leader, clear agenda or plan.
Juan Pedro Calderón, the country’s vice-president,
rode past the gathering in a black air-conditioned Mercedes. When he reached
the office, he made a call.
“Any idea what this is about?” VP Calderón asked
Manuel Fernandez, the parliamentary representative from the poorest section of
the capitol.
“No idea,” Fernandez responded. “I’ve been trying to
find out myself.”
Like Calderón and many members of parliament,
Fernandez had been a guerrilla fighter before the revolutionary government
seized power. Even now, he considered himself a man of the people, though he
lived in a large air-conditioned house surrounded by eighteen-foot high stucco
walls.
Fernandez’s once lean physique had grown flabby. He
still wore short-sleeved white cotton peasant shirts, wrinkled linen trousers
and sandals. But the shirts that once hung loosely over his slender frame
stretched taut against his substantial belly now.
As he walked down the wide main boulevard from his
office, Fernandez couldn’t help but recall that day thirty years before. What
struck him thinking about it was how friendly the crowd seemed and how he felt a
part of each man, woman and child. They were brothers and sisters, having
fought together and triumphed for this beautiful cause.
Earlier that day, he had stood with the other
fighters watching the dictator’s plane leave the country. Like so many others,
Fernandez believed the terror and cruelty, the poverty and childhood diarrhea,
the illiteracy and hunger would be vanishing, along with that plane.
It
was much harder than we thought, he said to some imaginary
listeners, suddenly feeling the need to explain.
The heat was oppressive. Fernandez couldn’t recall
the last time he had walked this far. And when was the last time he’d stepped
onto the beach? Why, it had to have been when he was still a child.
Even after every person on the sand had seen the
outlines of the vessel he or she had come for, no one felt inclined to go. It
was one thing to hope but quite another to take faith a step further.
Magdalena, along with the others, sensed this but wasn’t sure yet what else she
ought to do.
“The ship,” Magdalena said, turning to look at the
old commander as her right hand gestured toward the water. “I saw it.”
“I know,” Sanchez replied, nodding his head. “I saw
it too.”
At that moment, Alicia on Sanchez’s right added, “I
saw it myself.”
Magdalena knew what she wanted to say but wasn’t
ready to send those words out into the humid air. She had seen the ship. There
could be no argument about that. And these two older people who’d lived through
so much hardship and also joy and who understood things about life the teenage
girl couldn’t possibly imagine had seen ships as well. But the fact remained.
Not a single vessel had turned toward the beach where that anxious and hungry
group of people still waited.
Since Magdalena had been the first to arrive, she
also needed to be the one to express what needed to said.
“They’re not coming for us.”
The words were uttered barely above a whisper. As
soon as she’d said them, Magdalena wanted to take the words back, swallow each
syllable whole and forget she’d even considered the individual letters. But it
was too late.
“No,” Sanchez agreed. “They are not.”
Not wanting to be excluded from the conversation,
Alicia Mendoza piped up.
“Not even one,” Alicia added.
Now, Magdalena considered stepping into the water.
She was a fair swimmer and thought perhaps she might be able to power her way
out to the horizon. Without thinking more, she stepped one foot forward and
then another.
The girl might have kept going if she hadn’t looked
up. When she did, her eyes were drawn immediately out toward the horizon. What
she saw was exactly what she had seen for most of her short life. The ship she
had hoped for and even glimpsed momentarily was gone.
At this same instant, Fernandez arrived at the spot
where a few half-rotted wooden steps led down to the sand. The beach was so
crowded with people, the sand was barely visible. It occurred to Fernandez as
he took one step down and then another that those practically broken stairs
might not hold his weight. And as he often did, Fernandez chided himself to start
eating less.
Normally in a crowd of his constituents as this
group appeared to be, many people would approach to inform him of some
particular need. Nothing of the sort occurred today. Fernandez noticed
immediately that everyone on the beach stood facing the water. Fernandez looked
in that direction as well.
“They must be waiting for something,” Fernandez
mumbled to himself. “What could it be?”
As soon as he stepped down the last of the stairs,
Fernandez tapped a middle-aged woman in a red polyester dress on the shoulder.
“Señora,”
he said. “What is going on here?”
Without taking her gaze away from the horizon, the
woman said, “We are waiting.”
“Yes, I can see that,” Fernandez said. “But what
exactly are you waiting for?”
“A ship,” the woman answered simply.
Fernandez thought for a moment. Like many in the
region, his government had tried to entice the lucrative cruise lines to add
the capitol and a few coastal villages to their stops. But the country’s
poverty and crime had discouraged them from agreeing thus far.
“What kind of ship?” Fernandez asked. “And when is
it scheduled to arrive?”
“The ship has already come,” she told him. “Now I am
waiting to see if it will return.”
Fernandez pushed his way through the crowd, trying
to get closer to the water.
“Excuse me,” he said, lightly touching arms to his
right and left, while swiveling his pudgy torso sideways to make the narrow
spaces between people wider.
It was slow going, the crowd barely shifting,
everyone so intent on the view out past the shoreline.
After a good twenty minutes, Fernandez was in sight
of the water’s edge. That’s when he spotted the old commander, Alejandro
Sanchez. And next to him, the poet Alicia Mendoza. What in the world, he
wondered, could have possibly brought them there?
Fernandez wrestled himself next to Sanchez on the
left, shoving Magdalena to the side.
“Comandante,” Fernandez
said, his hand resting gingerly on Sanchez’s shoulder.
Unlike the others, the old commander took his gaze
away from the horizon to look at the legislator.
“Happy Anniversary,” Sanchez said, a slow grin
stretching across his lips. “Thirty years, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” Fernandez said. “In some ways, it seems like
yesterday. In other ways, that time feels like another life.”
“Another life, yes,” Sanchez agreed with the last
statement. “And here we are, after all the lives lost, back where we started.”
“What do you mean, Comandante? The dictator is gone.”
“Yes, but there was more to the revolution than just
getting rid of the dictator. We had dreams. And so many plans. Have you
forgotten?”
Fernandez shuffled his feet against the sand,
creating a smooth deep hole. Then he watched as the water seeped in, filling
the narrow space, and cooling his toes.
Ignoring Sanchez’s question, Fernandez went on to
ask his own.
“What are you doing here, Comandante?”
“I am waiting.”
Sanchez lifted his one good arm and hand, trying to
take in the crowd behind him.
“I am waiting like everybody else.”
“But what are you and all these people waiting for,
sir?”
“We are simply waiting,” Sanchez said, giving
Fernandez another coy smile.
Then he added, “We are waiting to see if the ship
will come in.”
“I don’t understand. I don’t understand what you
mean,” Fernandez said.
“I know you don’t. That’s why we’re all here.”
Fernandez thought about the commander’s response and
then did what seemed to make the most sense. He turned and planted his gaze out
toward the horizon like everybody else.
If asked, Fernandez couldn’t have said what he was
looking for. But suddenly, that wasn’t important.
Because Fernandez had suddenly found himself with a
terrible yearning. A yearning to see a ship. It will be red, he would have said, if anyone asked for details. Bright red and shiny.
Fernandez was sure of that.
-----
Patty Somlo has been nominated for the Pushcart Prize three times and was a finalist in the Tom Howard Short Story Contest. Her first collection, From Here to There and Other Stories, was published in 2010. Her work has appeared in the Los Angeles Review, the Santa Clara Review, the Jackson Hole Review, WomenArts Quarterly, Guernica, Slow Trains, Shaking Magazine and Fringe Magazine, among others, and in six anthologies, including most recently, Solace in So Many Words (with T.C. Boyle and last U.S. Poet Laureate Philip Levine), which just won the Next Generation Indie Book Award for Anthology.
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